Life at its Peak
On the eve of February 24, 2022, Iryna's life in Kyiv was like a carefully constructed dream. Just nine months earlier, she had moved to the capital, settling into a cozy studio in her beloved Obolon district. A lawyer by education, she saw the world through the prism of laws, which made war seem unthinkable. "I'm a lawyer, I thought, well, there's international law, there are laws. I couldn't wrap my head around the fact that something like this could happen in this day and age," she recalls.
Life was in full swing. She had just been promoted at work, was taking dance classes, and had started dating again. She felt a complete sense of harmony. "On February 23, my life was at its absolute peak. I had built it exactly the way I wanted it."
The First Day of the War
That harmony was shattered in the early morning when her phone buzzed incessantly. The girls' group chat was flooded with messages from a friend in Kharkiv. War.
"I went into a state of shock. I was frozen for about ten minutes."
When the initial numbness subsided, she called her mom. What scared Iryna the most was the thought of being captured. This fear was very specific: "I felt that I wouldn't be able to hide my patriotism or lie... in short, I thought they would start interrogating me and force me to become Russian, and I wouldn't agree to it, and there would be problems."
Her mother flatly refused to leave. Accepting this, Iryna started to act. She texted the guy from her date the previous night. His response—"I'm okay, don't worry about me"—triggered an immediate and decisive reaction. "In three seconds, I deleted his number and blocked him. Goodbye." Her friend Katia became her pillar of support, urgently leaving Chernihiv to join her in Kyiv.
The Road into the Unknown
The journey to the train station, though short, felt like an eternity to Iryna. It was a farewell to everything she loved so much. "I now have a painting at home called 'Leave Behind'... I think it represents that moment when you step into the unknown, not knowing what's there."
Chaos reigned at the station. Having bought one ticket for the two of them, they miraculously got on a train to Rakhiv. Even her 'go-bag' reflected her state of mind at the time—only the bare essentials for survival: "two dark chocolate bars and dates. Because I thought it was a source of energy that wouldn't spoil."
Two weeks in Zakarpattia passed in a blur. Then came the news from her company: due to her client-facing role, it was impossible to work from Ukraine. Iryna decided to go abroad.
Short-lived Havens: Poland and Italy
Where to go? There was no certainty. The decision was made spontaneously and out of desperation. "We didn't know where to go... So we drew... A lottery? Yes. We couldn't decide, so we drew slips of paper." The lot fell on Krakow. Crossing the border brought an unexpected sense of calm that remains deeply etched in her memory.
They only lived in Poland for two weeks. Just as they were starting to adapt, the apartment owner asked them to leave. Uncertainty again. Stumbling upon an offer from Rosita in Italy, they found themselves in the village of Castelnuovo di Garfagnana. This place became not just a temporary home for them, but a turning point.
The mountain village was incredibly beautiful, reminiscent of the Ukrainian Carpathians. Their host, Rosita, a kind and sincere woman, gave them a cottage that was empty before the tourist season. It turned out she had sheltered many Ukrainian families. However, there were challenges: to continue working, the girls needed a stable internet connection, which was almost non-existent in the mountains. Eventually, Rosita helped set it up, but the weak connection had an unexpected upside. "It was helpful, I think. Because we were a bit disconnected from the news... and it saved us a little, because that was when, I believe, the news about Bucha was coming out."
It was in this relative silence, amidst the beauty of the Italian countryside and the kindness of the local people, that a painful realization dawned on them. Sitting on the terrace of their cottage, they truly began to talk about the future for the first time. "It was only in Italy that Katia and I started to really talk about what's next... What if the war doesn't end? What if it continues? It was then, in Italy, I remember it clearly, that we had those conversations." Short-term solutions were no longer working. They needed a long-term plan.
The English Chapter and the Sponsor Family
The choice fell on England. The 'Homes for Ukraine' program seemed like a chance, but finding a suitable family was not easy. Iryna and Katia, having lived side-by-side for months, dreamed of having their own space. They posted an announcement in a Facebook group with an unusual, almost audacious request: to find a family that could provide two separate rooms.
And a miracle happened. Sarah and Joe were among the first to respond. They wrote that they had a vacant annex to their house with two bedrooms. After a warm video call, the girls knew: this was their match.
Sarah and Joe met them at the airport. The drive to their home in a small, picturesque village near Swindon was long, but they immediately found common ground. "I think we connected with them really well right there in the car... we started joking, even in the car," Iryna recalls.
Their new home was the epitome of British coziness: a classic house, a fireplace, and dogs, which Iryna adored. The relationship with their sponsors grew into a strong friendship. "We became very good friends, and they, their children, welcomed us so warmly." Sarah and Joe welcomed them into their circle, inviting them to family brunches, rugby matches, and Christmas markets. This environment helped the girls integrate much faster than if they had lived in isolation or only within the Ukrainian community.
However, despite all the warmth, Iryna keenly felt her dependence. This internal conflict peaked during a trip to a store. Sarah, wanting to furnish Iryna's room, took her to choose a chair. "Sarah tells me, 'Choose one,' but I can't. It's like, I can't choose. I'm used to buying things for myself... And here, it's as if you're a small child." That moment became a symbol of her lost independence. She felt ashamed and awkward, as she, a grown, self-sufficient woman, suddenly found herself in a position where someone else was buying basic things for her.
Sarah and Joe, sensing this, did everything they could to support her. When Iryna found a job in London, Joe drove her to the station for the first few months, helping her get on her feet.
When the time came to move out and start her life with Aman, they had a farewell dinner. It was a warm, albeit slightly sad, farewell to the people who had become a true family to her during the most difficult period of her life.
Career: Falls and Rises
Iryna's professional journey in exile became a drama of its own, filled with character-building falls and victories won through tears. She had left Kyiv at the peak of her confidence, with a prestigious position and a good salary. But in Britain, she had to start all over again.
Thanks to a recommendation from a former colleague, she got a job at the London-based company SalesLoft. However, she was hired not for the position she had hoped for, but for a lower-level one—BDR (Business Development Representative). They explained that she lacked experience in "cold sales." It was the first blow to her self-esteem, but she accepted the challenge.
The work turned out to be incredibly difficult. "I had to make a lot of cold calls, write emails... And it had to be done on a large scale... I had to record videos for my prospects." The standards were very high. Iryna recalls how her manager demanded that a one-minute video be recorded perfectly on the first take. It took hours. It was a tough but effective school.
Just as she started to feel confident after passing her probation period, layoffs happened. It was done brutally: after a general meeting, those who were being laid off received an email. "It was a huge blow. I remember how difficult it was for me, very difficult."
Two months of exhausting job searching began, filled with rejections and uncertainty. Eventually, she found another job, again in a BDR position. But she quickly realized it wasn't her story. When she was laid off again, she was already prepared for it and even felt a sense of relief, as she had been actively looking for something else.
And then, they found her. The company where she works now reached out to her on LinkedIn. This time, everything was different. All her previous experiences, all the skills acquired through pain and stress, came together like a puzzle. "It was so cool how all the experiences I had gathered up to that point came together in this role."
She not only got the job but was also recently promoted, becoming a manager with her first direct report. However, despite her success, she is still haunted by imposter syndrome. The war set her career back, and this feeling of lost time forces her to constantly prove something. "It seems like it will be enough when you stop working more than you have to
Meeting Aman
In February 2023, during one of her most difficult periods when she had lost her job and felt lost, Iryna decided to visit relatives in Ukraine for a few days. It was then, in a state of emotional exhaustion, that she went on a dating app again. She was ready for love, but this time her request to the universe was different—she let go of all criteria regarding nationality or status. "I want to meet a person who is truly right for me... who will accept me for who I am."
And that's when Aman wrote to her. His message immediately stood out from the others. It wasn't the standard phrases. "He wrote a lot of text, something very meaningful. Meaning, he put effort into writing a comment. I thought, okay. I stopped on him."
They started talking. She was in Ukraine, he was at a wedding in India, but the connection between them was instant. Before their first date, however, Iryna was very nervous. It seemed to her that everything was going too well. Trying to find at least one flaw, she meticulously studied his profile. "And I found the only catch... I saw that in none of his photos was he smiling. I thought, well, that's it. Something's not right. And for me, that's important."
They agreed to meet near Liverpool Street station. Iryna arrived first and saw him approaching the glass doors of the cafe. They both tried to open the jammed doors at the same time. And in that moment, he turned to her. "And then he smiles. With his incredible smile. And that was it. I melted right there... everything became clear."
From the first minutes of conversation, she felt that he was her person. They talked about everything under the sun and were so engrossed that they didn't even notice the owner of the establishment accidentally take their picture. In that photo, which they still have, they look incredibly happy. From their first meeting, they started making plans together. It was the same healthy love she had dreamed of—mutual respect, acceptance, and the feeling of being at home.
Their relationship developed quickly, as both were ready for a serious stage in their lives. "We were both at a stage where we were... we were ready for a relationship." When Aman's housing contract was ending, they didn't hesitate to move in together and found an apartment in London that immediately felt like "her home" to Iryna.
The Proposal and Two Weddings
The marriage proposal happened in November. It was an ordinary evening at their favorite cafe. Iryna, savoring the moment, said, "Here we are, having dinner in this cafe. It's so lovely." Suddenly, Aman interrupted her thoughts with a question: "When are you going to stop being my girlfriend?" For a moment, Iryna's blood ran cold; she thought he wanted to break up. But before she could panic, he pulled out a ring. It was simple, sincere, and very much their style.
They decided to have two weddings to honor both their families and cultures.
The first ceremony took place in London. It was a small, intimate celebration, the main purpose of which was for Iryna's mother to be present. After everything she had been through, after the long separation and fear, it was extremely important for Iryna to have her closest person by her side. "It was very important to me that they came, that they were with us," she explains. The atmosphere was incredibly warm and personal. Iryna chose an unconventional white dress she found online, and she made her own wedding bouquet from her favorite flowers. This day was for them, for their closest friends, and most importantly, for her mother, who could finally hug her future son-in-law and see her daughter happy.
The second wedding took place in India. It was a vibrant, multi-day immersion into another culture. For Iryna's mother, who doesn't like to travel, this trip was a true feat, but she went for her daughter's sake, along with a friend. Aman's parents welcomed the Ukrainian family with incredible warmth. Despite the language barrier, they found a common language. "His parents are very welcoming... We have the language of gestures. We hug each other and translate through one another."
The celebration was loud and joyful. Although by Indian standards, 80 guests is very modest ("All our acquaintances from India were surprised how I could dare not to invite such a small number as eighty"), for Iryna it was a large and bustling event.
The culmination was the day Iryna decided to combine the two traditions. Right after the proposal, she had found the story of the Poltava "chubatyi" wedding wreath online and fell in love with it. She found a craftswoman from her hometown who created this incredible work of art for her from beads and ribbons. And so, against the backdrop of vibrant Indian saris and suits, Iryna appeared in Ukrainian attire with this magnificent wreath on her head. It was a powerful, silent symbol of her roots, her resilience, and the union of two worlds into one new family.
