Strength and Indomitability
The war burst into Oksana's life, as it did for millions of Ukrainians, unexpectedly and brutally. Although the news had warned of a possible invasion, it was hard to believe that such a thing could happen in the modern, civilized world. "It was horror, unbelievable horror," she recalls of the first days of the full-scale invasion.
In Khmelnytskyi, where Oksana lived, stress reigned. People stood in endless queues at banks and shops, trying to provide for themselves and their families. Everyone hoped that this would be a short-lived period, that the war would end quickly. "Could this really be happening? It was unbelievable. Many people didn't believe it, and everyone was striving for the idea that the conversations were all about it being very short. 'It will end on May 9th,' I remember one woman saying. 'It will end for some reason, they told her, on April 14th,' I remember. And it was a difficult stage of accepting that this had happened in our lives," Oksana shares.
Her first thought was: "How can I save my children? God, is this really happening in their lifetime?" This anxiety for the future of her children, who did not deserve to see the horror of war, became her driving force. Although her daughter and her husband had gone abroad before the war, her son remained in Ukraine. "I wanted my children to be happy. Just like every mother wants, commands, the right for their child to be happy," she adds.
Against the backdrop of this external disaster, Oksana's life was struck by another tragedy – a divorce after 30 years of marriage. It became an internal tragedy superimposed on the incredible external one. "It was tragic for me from all sides. It happened at the same time; my husband filed for divorce," she confesses. However, despite her personal pain, she understood: "If I am not strong, it will be difficult. It will be even more difficult for the children." She had to hold on with all her might so as not to show panic to her children or her art students. "I had to calm the children and be grounded myself so as not to give away the panic. And the internal panic that existed, it was in everyone, absolutely everyone," Oksana recalls.
The school where Oksana worked turned into a support center. Adults wove camouflage nets for the front, made varenyky (dumplings), and shared everything they had with the refugees arriving in Khmelnytskyi. It was a daily labor and a struggle for a normal life for those who were even worse off. Oksana remembers having to calm children during air raid sirens, seeing their trembling gazes and the fear in their eyes. "It's all very difficult to bear. I understood that you need... I don't know, certain circumstances arise in life. Probably every person has them, these circumstances," she reflects.
The decision to go abroad came when the school switched to online learning. Her friend, an actor she had met, also wanted to leave to perform abroad and provide psychological support to Ukrainians. "We must show others, those people who have lost hope, those people who have lost heart, the mothers who have gone abroad, who are separated from their families, but they are saving their children, they are saving their future, because these children do not deserve to see the terrible footage of this war and see this destruction. And children are born to be happy. Children are born to build their future and to carry our traditions, to carry our culture to the future. They are not born to die. They are born to have a future," she explains their mission.
With theatrical props in their car, they first went to Slovakia, then to Poland. There, they gave concerts in refugee shelters. Later, due to the language barrier for her son, who was learning English, they decided to move to the United Kingdom. In March 2022, Britain opened a support program for Ukrainians, and Oksana and her son applied.
In Britain, they were met by incredibly positive people – Sean and Maggie, to whom Oksana is immensely grateful. They welcomed them into their home and made every effort to help them adapt. "The people are so friendly, so positive, so compassionate, so understanding of any moments and circumstances that could have been in our lives. They foresaw everything. They put maximum effort into everything to adapt our lives as much as they understood it," she describes her hosts. Oksana participated in concerts in support of Ukraine, raising funds for a hospital in Cherkasy.
Eventually, Oksana and her friend's paths diverged, and she had to build a life from scratch, without external support. "I understood that I had no support, that I had no one to lean on, and I had to find it only within myself. I sought out these internal resources. I understood that there were certain circumstances and in these circumstances, you need to survive. You need to build your life from absolute zero. You realize that you are over 50 and life has now shaped you in such a way that you must be strong and you must build it from the very beginning. As strange as it may sound, some people talk about how scary it is to start your life over at 30, sometimes 40. I didn't think I would be starting it over, but that's how the circumstances turned out and I had to do it all from the very beginning, from scratch," she notes.
She found her footing thanks to a job at a Royal foundation, where her hosts recommended her. Although the work was not in her field of expertise, it provided financial stability. Her colleagues supported her, understanding the language barrier. "They try to speak more simply. They try to adapt, they understand that you are not comfortable, and they strive to make an effort to make it more pleasant and understandable for you," Oksana says of the support.
The foundation provided opportunities for creative workshops where Oksana could engage in art and communicate with inspiring people. This became a source of joy and harmony. She considers herself lucky because she only meets wonderful people on her life's path. "I am very happy, I thank the Almighty that wherever I am, wherever I work, I am surrounded only by positive, wonderful people. I am very grateful for that because it's incredible. It's an incredible happiness when you see such people," Oksana shares. She is particularly impressed by the English: "They see the positive in life, and they constantly radiate this positivity in their beautiful smiles, in their perception of the day."
Despite all the difficulties, Oksana strives for inner harmony, which, in her opinion, a person must provide for themselves. Every morning she checks the news from Ukraine, because "it has remained in your heart, and it's not a corner of your heart, but the whole heart." This pain for her native land, for the children who are losing their parents and homes, manifests in tears. Recently, at an exhibition dedicated to the war, Oksana cried while giving a speech about her paintings, realizing that this pain is shared by many. "I cried, tears were streaming down my face then, and it turned out that these tears are the same for all people, that the people who were around me also have this trigger for our lack of freedom, for this cruelty inflicted upon our people, upon those children who are not guilty of anything, who were just born into this world to be happy," she recalls.
Oksana believes that the "flame of hope" never goes out. She wants the Ukrainian people to be free and progressive, for children to live happily in their free country. "I really believe in this, and I really want it to be so," she concludes. She is grateful to Britain for its support, which has given Ukrainian mothers peace of mind for their children's future. "Every mother wants happiness for her child, a peaceful, harmonious life for her child," Oksana emphasizes.
Oksana continues to work, sometimes 10 hours a day, understanding that it is exhausting but important for her to work among wonderful people. She works on herself daily, on learning the language, fighting with her brain, which "rebounds" and resists the new. "I never thought I would have to do this, to fight with my own brain. You have to trick it, and you look for ways to trick it when it doesn't want to, and it's horrible. It's just an incredible horror, but you are less, you are less," she shares about this challenge. But she does not give up, because she believes that "reason will prevail and finally the forces of good, like in any fairy tale... and our people are worthy of it, our children are also worthy of it, to be happy in this life." She dreams that Ukraine will become stronger, more powerful, a free and dignified country among all European nations. "We are intelligent, we are educated, we are talented, we are civilized, and we know how to simply adapt to different life circumstances, drawing strength from within ourselves, experiencing all the circumstances, but we can, we are worthy of peace, we are worthy of tranquility, we are worthy of normal, stable development, because from time immemorial we have fought for our freedom and this freedom must be won. It must stand," Oksana declares with unwavering faith.
